My Quiet Time

I am an introvert. I always thought I was just antisocial and very shy, but when I discovered what introverted meant, I discovered a true part of me.

I get drained of my energy in social events; I like being on my own, and reflect on life, on myself; I like deep one-on-one conversation. I am a true introvert.

And it’s hard to be that way in a world where we are asked to be extrovert to succeed, to please, to stand out from everybody else.

I need my quiet time just as a hockey player needs to play hockey. Don’t get me wrong, I love going out with friends and talk; but when it involves more than 4-5 people I ALWAYS shut myself down. I stop talking, and I listen. And if it is taking place somewhere I can barely hear myself speak, forget it. You’d have more chance talking to a mute.  That’s the way I am, what can I do.

And I don’t particularly like small talks either. I find them boring and irrelevant.  I don’t need to talk about the weather; I already know it’s hot outside. And that’s why it is very hard for me to meet new people.

I moved from Quebec to Ontario, and with that, I lost all my good friends I had known since I was a child. Since, I have had a very hard time meeting people I connect with. Other than my boyfriend, I actually have one other friend who I feel I can be 100% myself with. And I have been here for 2 years … The rest of the people I know are great people, I just wouldn’t call them to come over or chat over a coffee (tea for me, please).

Being an introvert doesn’t mean I don’t need social interactions, I just need a certain setting to enjoy them. Weird uh?

To add to my different personality trait, I am also an outsider; liking to do things differently, analysing and questioning things most people just agree to. And I must say, I can count on one hand the people I know who do think that way.

And it sucks because try to explain to someone who is very career and money oriented that your goal in life is to be happy, and that you do not believe people should have to work. You get the crazy looks 95% of the time!

Marie

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I’m an ant.

Please tell me, tell me I’m not alone in this battle. I feel like I am alone with my desire to make this earth better. I am a bit of a green freak, I’d like to think I can make a difference during my brief time on Earth, but man sometimes do I feel like I’m an ant fighting an elephant. It’s like nobody cares. NOBODY. How hard is it to take that newspaper, and put it in the recycling bin? How hard is it to brush your teeth without leaving the water on. There are people on this Earth walking long distances to have water and then they carry that 50-pound bucket back to their homes. How fair is that? If you can’t do it for the environment, then do it by respect for others. You don’t have to sell your car or stop showering to make a difference; every little move counts!

I am mad at people sometimes; and I include myself in, sometimes I do make bad choices. It makes me mad that people can be so selfish. Me, me, me. That’s all people think about. Honestly if society was more about “us”, if this economic system encouraged social achievements instead of individual achievements, we wouldn’t be in such trouble. We are sick, very sick. And I wish that more people cared about their impact on this very fragile eco-system. If you think that this will never affect you directly, you are wrong. If you think that you can live without it, you are wrong. Where do you think your coffee in the morning comes from? Space? No it comes from a cultivable land. Choices you make every day affect this land. You take your car to get to the corner store that is a block away? You add more CO2 on the air, it makes the atmosphere warmer, it rains less; and, guess what? Coffee plantations need water. EVERYTHING you do affects you one way or another.

So next time you decide to hose down your pavement, think about your morning coffee.Image

I hate school.

I hate school. I hate the waste of time; I hate the pointless things they make us learn just because we need to pass a certain number of classes to have a nice 11×14 piece of paper with our name on it that proves we somewhat fulfilled society’s expectation.

And what is this? Why do I have to have a degree hung on my wall to prove that I am knowledgeable, to prove that I am worthy of a successful life? I’ve been wasting my time and money for 4 years now, and I can honestly say that school hasn’t taught me anything valuable or useful. Why do we have to go to school to learn about a future career? We are being shaped by the few who control this world who want us to be a certain way; they are the puppet masters. We need to be good and efficient workers. We need to bring in the money. We need to work our 8 to 4 like slaves; doing repetitive and pointless jobs because that’s the way it is. Why can’t school be about life? Why can’t I take classes that’d make me be a better person, that’d help me live in society, that’d make me think for myself and analyse things around me? Why can’t we graduate in Life? Wouldn’t that be more useful? Instead, we are forced into this factory, having barely any freedom of choice, getting out of there brainwashed thinking that being successful in life means having a good job, a great house, 2 kids, a three-door garage, a cottage in Florida and a golden retriever.

Going to university (and graduating at some point) will be the first and only thing I will ever do to satisfy society. Once I finally get that piece of paper, then people can stop telling me what to do and leave me alone.

-Marie

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Introduction.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately. In fact, I’ve been thinking a lot for the past 6 years. Ever since I did the Katimavik program ( www.katimavik.org ), I realized that, first, I have a huge impact on my environment; second,  that our society is facing countless problems.

And it’s literally tearing me apart because I’ve also noticed that we – *activists* people – are an obvious minority, and it makes it very difficult to tell the world the truth, the REAL truth. And because I’m trying to change the world my own way I thought, why not use the internet and social media to share my thoughts? Maybe, somehow, I will switch on a light in someone’s head and make them realize things they had never thought about before. And because I am pretty comfortable in English and that English is THE world language, I decided to use it and put aside my French roots for the purpose of this blog. ( Sorry in advance for the grammar mistakes! )

I don’t know how often I am going to be posting here nor exactly what I am going to be posting, but one thing I know is that it’ll be about things in life that concern me, and that I feel are important to share.

Hopefully it’ll make me reflect on my own thoughts. And if nobody reads me well, it’s ok, at least it’ll make me feel like I am talking to someone and not feel so alone with my conviction.

-Marie

* I do not consider myself an activist, because sadly I don’t have the balls to take real actions yet. Work in progress..Image