The Dead Chipmunk Who Taught Me About Life.

Domestic cats: A blend of cuddle and deadly predator.

Cats are my favorite animals. They are the kind of pets who makes you feel so special when they show you affection. You go from being an ordinary person to the most special person around when a cat decides it loves you.

I own three. They are the cutest beings ever. They all have different personalities from the most precious soul, to the dedicated soul mate, to the perfect snuggle bug. I love them; they are my children.

The other day, I had them all outside with me. I put them in the fenced-in area in the backyard while I am gardening. A couple of minutes later (literally), I go back to check up on them, and there I see it. Bear, my Maine Coon, is standing by a chipmunk he has just caught. My heart stops and I run towards them hoping I can do anything at this point to save the rodent.

I quickly push Bear away and grab the chipmunk.  I’m looking at the poor thing. It’s a male. Good. No babies left behind. I am no vet, but I try to feel a heartbeat, I look for injuries. Nothing. He looks perfect. I swear it felt like time stopped. Thinking about it now, it seems really stupid, but I truly felt like everything was in slow motion as I was looking at him. He was perfect. His fur was soft and shiny, his cheeks were full of seeds he had probably just gathered from the birds feeders I have a few meters away. His eyes still had life in them it seemed like he was, all of the sudden, going to start jumping around.

I felt so sad. So sad that his life was stopped so quickly. That one moment he was eating and the next he was dead. And I was so angry at my cat for killing him; I was so angry at myself for letting my cats out in the first place. I should have been supervising them.

I am sitting down in the grass with him on my lap and I have tears rolling down my face. I feel stupid for crying for a dead chipmunk, but it’s more than that. It’s my 27-year-old self realizing the preciousness of life. Realizing that we are not eternal. That I  should live my life to the fullest.

You know, since I went vegan a few years ago, the biggest change in my life has been feeling very connected with nature, feeling at peace with how I live my life, feeling like this is exactly where I fit in this puzzle called life. This dead chipmunk reached into my soul and made me realize I was way too comfortable in my routine.

My biggest weakness is that I always postpone things for tomorrow. No matter what it is. Even the things I deeply care about.

Well, there is no tomorrow anymore. Only today. And I intend to make my life beautiful and fullfilling and happy.

My cat may have ended a life that day, but he rebooted mine.

Marie

My cats or the world.

I haven’t written anything in months. Sorry.

I’m still vegan. One year strong, yah!

People’s selfishness still disappoints me; it still affects me too much, unfortunately. I wish I could just watch and laugh about it like George Carlin would say. Lucky bastard.

Anyways, I came across this video today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipe6CMvW0Dg

It literally explains everything about who I am. Why I went vegan, why it pisses me off that people don’t take the extra 5 minutes to recycle, why I hate wasting food, why going to the mall is a nightmare for me, why I don’t vote, why I don’t watch mainstream media. This list could go on and on and on. Please watch it and tell me what you think.

Tell me that sometimes it keeps you awake at night too. Tell me that you, too, sometimes feel ashamed of yourself for being stuck in this exact system you resent.

Sometimes, when I watch those “faith in humanity” videos I feel like there’s hope, that we can actually reverse all this. But then, I hear things about the 0,01% billionaires of this world who pretty much control everything we do, and I see absolutely no hope for this world to get better.

I shared this video on Facebook, and I can guarantee you that no one will “like” or “share” it. But when I post a picture of my cats, holy shit! That people love; because it doesn’t require any cognitive work.

I am in a pessimistic mood today, sorry about that.

Marie.

It’s all good, dad.

When you’re a kid, your world revolves around your parents. They are your teacher, your lawyer, your driver, your cook, your everything. And, most of the time, they become your model.

Growing up, my family didn’t have much. It took everything to my parents to find some savings for me to get a haircut. Our phone line and our tv cable were cut so many times, I don’t even remember one year it didn’t happen at least once. I remember one summer where we had no phone, no internet, and basic cable (3 channels with absolutely nothing good to watch). I remember doing nothing all day and being so frustrated that we were almost cut out from our friends. As a young teenager, it was hell. I often had to give away some of the money I made babysitting so that we could have food on the table.  It was soo bad, sometimes. Try to make Nutella out of chocolate powder because there’s absolutely nothing to eat from breakfast.

Anyways, our parents did their best, we all turned out fine and now I see this period of my life as a lesson about being happy with what you have. You don’t need that new coat you saw on tv, you already have one!

My dad always regretted not giving us everything he wished for us. But I don’t see it that way.

My dad is the kind of man who does the cleaning and the cooking. He is always very honest with us. He is a confidant, a friend, a dad, a role model. My dad shaped me into the woman I am today. He taught me simple things like to put my shopping cart back to where I found it, and not to leave in the middle of the freaking parking lot!! He taught me to be polite when invited over to someone’s house and to eat whatever food is served to you whether you like it or not. He taught me to like my neighbours, to help people around me, to never judge people by what they look like. He taught me to be socially conscious and not to act so selfish! My dad recycles, and does not waste food. My dad is the type of dad who is friend with your friends.

My dad is the most caring person I know. He would always play outside with us, draw with us, play board games with us. He would try his best to explain the world to us, and was always encouraging us to look for the answer. Everything fun I remember about my childhood, my dad is a part of it. He is often the first person I go to when I need advice, and he’s the opinion I respect the most.

When I go back to my hometown this summer, it will have been 2 years since I’ll have seen him. Being away made me realize how important he is in my life. You know what they say; you don’t know what you have until you lose it.

My dad is the reason why I am environmentally and socially conscious. He is the reason why I question everything. He is the reason why, in my opinion, I turned out to be a nice person.

My dad always said he didn’t give us enough, well I say he gave us everything.

Love with a capital letter.

I feel like writing today. I feel like writing about something positive and cheerful. I feel like writing about love.

I was very pessimistic before. I used to think that love we saw in movies was made up, inspired from the latest Disney princess movie. I used to think that love was like having a reeeaalllyy good friend. So I experienced girl/guy relationships without even expecting more than a good time.. in bed. It went on like that for a few years, I was having fun; having given up on finding Love with a capital letter. Then, I met this guy. I still remember him coming in the room, drunk, a blue hat and Hawaiian shirt on. He was.. so obnoxious! After the party, me, my friend and the drunk guy walked back home. (I discovered he lived pretty close from me).

I had no idea why, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him, And I mean, it’s not like he gave me a good first impression. He was not even the type of guy I would usually be physically attracted to. But there was just something else about him. He had this little something.

We ended up hanging out together afterward because of mutual friends, and it started just like this. I didn’t see rainbows and butterflies, it wasn’t love at first sight (well maybe love at third sight!), but we just connected like 2 pieces of puzzles: a perfect match. Everything just fell into place so easily. Everything made sense. My old-self was still hesitant to diving into this crazy thing called love, but I did it; because he made me feel safe.

We had to spend the Christmas Holidays apart and when I saw him again in January, I just knew. I was in love! Me; the girl who thought this was just a fantasy! I experienced, for the first time, the honeymoon stage they call it. Man, is love ever powerful!

I ended up leaving behind everything and everyone I know for the man. I miss my home, but I have never regretted my decision. We have been together about 3 years now. We are not in the honeymoon stage anymore, but I love him more deeply every day. It’s a kind of love you can’t really explain; it’s the honeymoon stage type of love but with more wisdom!

We couldn’t be more different. He is strong-headed, impulsive, and ambitious, and I am, well, the OPPOSITE! But, somehow, it works. He makes me feel like I am the best person in the world. He lets me be exactly who I am. He never judges my crazy convictions. He just makes me feel like a million bucks.

Even after 3 years, I still miss him during the day when I’m at work. He still calls me beautiful and precious. He still makes me laugh. We still act like 14 year-olds, cuddling and kissing on the couch while watching a movie. He tells me things like “you make me a better person” and “I couldn’t imagine life without you”.

We are definitely not perfect, but we are perfect for each other. I still can’t believe that somehow we got to meet just because of my decision to go to the same university my friend was going to.

I never thought love we see in movies was possible until I met him. He is my soulmate.

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Dear Head Office.

Dear head office.

You come in like you own the world.

You open the door, beat your way around;

You come in like you own the world.

Dear head office,

you are the elephant in the room,

and you roar like a lion.

You manipulate everything your claws can reach

Dear head office, you do not scare me.

I am a mouse, but you’re the elephant.

I am not inferior,

I am strong.

I will not bend like a slave.

I will not put on a mask to please you,

Dear head office,

you will not make me feel like I’m nothing.

Dear head office,

get off your high heels so you can walk better,

stop talking so you can hear me better

Dear head office,

you are not always right.

Dear head office,

I will not be your slave.

Truce With The Chicken.

I finally made it. I switched. I went from simplicity to complicity. I went from chicken to broccoli. I went vegan.

It’s my, let me count, here, second day. No meat, no milk, no yogourt, no cheese (Oh my God, what have I done!!) I’m not dead yet. I am still wearing a bra, I haven’t sold my car, and I still shave; don’t worry.

It feels good though, I feel like I’ve made the right decision. This thing was meant to happen one day anyways. I’ve always screamed out loud that I was an animal lover; that I could not hurt a fly. Well, I was lying; because there were dead bodies in my plate a few times a week. Oh these chicken were delicious, don’t get me wrong; but I decided that it was time to live the way I was thinking. It was time my plate reflect the way I wanted things to be.

I am going vegan for 3 reasons:

1-The way these animals are being raised, fed, and killed is an absolute atrocity.(I dare you to watch Earthlings and not feel a thing about it.)

2-The cost and the ressources needed to feed these animals (especially cows) are enormous. I am a green freak, and this is just unacceptable. The fact that we have to use so much land just to feed these animals makes me sick. Manure, transportation, packaging… this is more polluting than cars, people! (Watch Vegucated; you don’t need any mental preparation for this one.)

3- Because our food habits are very bad, and I am concerned about my health. By not eating animal products, I have to turn to fruits and veggies. And we all know most of us don’t eat enough of these very nutritious foods. (Watch Food Matters & Hungry For Change)

So, day 2 of veganism, I feel great, I haven’t craved anything yet, and I am discovering new recipes.(There is a vegan chocolate cake in the oven as we speak! :D) My first challenge is coming this Wednesday; family dinner. And they don’t know I’m vegan, yet. Wish me luck.

Marie.

vegan-france

My Quiet Time

I am an introvert. I always thought I was just antisocial and very shy, but when I discovered what introverted meant, I discovered a true part of me.

I get drained of my energy in social events; I like being on my own, and reflect on life, on myself; I like deep one-on-one conversation. I am a true introvert.

And it’s hard to be that way in a world where we are asked to be extrovert to succeed, to please, to stand out from everybody else.

I need my quiet time just as a hockey player needs to play hockey. Don’t get me wrong, I love going out with friends and talk; but when it involves more than 4-5 people I ALWAYS shut myself down. I stop talking, and I listen. And if it is taking place somewhere I can barely hear myself speak, forget it. You’d have more chance talking to a mute.  That’s the way I am, what can I do.

And I don’t particularly like small talks either. I find them boring and irrelevant.  I don’t need to talk about the weather; I already know it’s hot outside. And that’s why it is very hard for me to meet new people.

I moved from Quebec to Ontario, and with that, I lost all my good friends I had known since I was a child. Since, I have had a very hard time meeting people I connect with. Other than my boyfriend, I actually have one other friend who I feel I can be 100% myself with. And I have been here for 2 years … The rest of the people I know are great people, I just wouldn’t call them to come over or chat over a coffee (tea for me, please).

Being an introvert doesn’t mean I don’t need social interactions, I just need a certain setting to enjoy them. Weird uh?

To add to my different personality trait, I am also an outsider; liking to do things differently, analysing and questioning things most people just agree to. And I must say, I can count on one hand the people I know who do think that way.

And it sucks because try to explain to someone who is very career and money oriented that your goal in life is to be happy, and that you do not believe people should have to work. You get the crazy looks 95% of the time!

Marie

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